Michigan, My Michigan

Michigan. Birthplace of Madonna, Kid Rock, Stevie Wonder...and me. That's right, I was born in good ole Flint, MI. I lived in Michigan until I was 14 years old and then took off with my family for sunny California. I must admit, as a teenager I was blown away by California's majestic beauty (still am) and was so happy to no longer have to endure my eyelashes freezing shut on a winter run!

I don't get back to Michigan much, but Allyson and I spent a week in Northern Michigan last summer and I developed a new respect for my birth state (I have a very difficult time with the terms "home state" or "hometown" because I don't know where mine are). We spent a week with some of my family boating around on beautiful Burt Lake and Indian River, biking around quaint Mackinac Island, and just generally being in awe of how clean the air and water was (this may have been due to the fact that we'd just spent the last two years living in the smog cloud of Los Angeles.)

 

I loved this when I was a kid! Melissa's (my cousin) son, Elijah, is "driving" the boat with his grandma's help. We had a speed boat (and a little sail boat) growing up and spent all summer out on the boats or in the water in front of our cottage. We didn't need much to stay entertained. I didn't realize how lucky we were then to have such a beautiful and clean lake to play in!

Allyson and Elijah bonded big time. Here they are hanging out on the boat, both a little sun-kissed from the fun we had out on both Burt and Mullet (yup...that's right) Lake.

 

The bridge I was in love with LONG before I even knew about the Golden Gate bridge. The Mackinac Bridge connects the Lower and Upper Peninsulas of Michigan. One of my first road races was across this bridge. Fond memories for sure!

  

 

My mom, Kayla (my cousin), Allyson, and I rode tandem bikes all the way around Mackinac Island. The day was gorgeous and we had so much fun. We also felt like we'd earned a short nap in the grass and a great big cone of Mackinac Island Fudge Ice Cream, something I've been craving since I left Michigan.

World Famous (maybe) Mackinac Island Fudge

Sadly, I didn't purchase the hat. I'm shocked my vegetarian wife didn't leave Michigan running, what with the animal pelts, Buck Pole (google it), etc. But she didn't, and we are both heading back for a very short weekend to celebrate the wedding of my cousin, Jessica, and her fiance, Kevin! Looking forward to it!

A is for Advice....Wedding Advice

Allyson and I were talking this week about some of the things we wished we'd done differently, as well as our favorite moments of the day. I'm a big list-maker myself, and think lists are an easy way to outline some of the things to think about for your big day. So here you go....

Top 5 Moments (or things we are glad we did)

1. "Pre-Vows"

We wrote our vows together. They were actually fairly easy to write because we agree on what a relationship means to us and what we want to give and get from each other over the years. The vows were set up like "I promise to...."

Our "pre-vows" came right before our vows and were a chance for each of us to say why we love the other one. We decided not to share this with each other before wedding day. We did talk about the length of them and the general approach, so that they seemed to fit together. This was by far the most meaningful part of my day. I cried saying mine and I cried when Allyson said hers. No matter what else happened this day (and lots of other great things happened), this made the day. 

We wrote our pre-vows and our vows in a little book that we can now keep and look back at over the years. We also wrote down everything we did the week following the wedding in the book, so we can remember that too. 

All Photos Taken by Wedding Photographer, Jonathan Steinberg

2. Our Song - I've Just Seen A Face by The Beatles

Allyson and I sing together a lot. We have lots of songs we could've sang. The one we chose isn't the one that necessarily highlights each of our voices the best. But the words are perfect. It's fun and easy to sing. And most importantly, we are so connected when we sing this song. It's nearly impossible to screw up because we can feel the other person doing their part; not just focusing on trying to get our parts right (I should really speak for myself here...I've been a singer my whole life and love to harmonize. Part of good harmony is connecting with the other person/people and it's kind of what I live for when singing. I'm just so so grateful I have married someone I can harmonize with). 

Favorite two moments of this song on wedding day: 

                        

                     1. When we messed up the words. Seriously, favorite part. Why you ask? Because we laughed for like 3 seconds and then just jumped back in like it was part of the song. My wife was pretty nervous about doing this in front of a crowd, and she was just so strong out there and actually had fun. So proud of her!

                     2. These lyrics get me every time: 

"...she's just the girl for me; And I want all the world to see we've met..."

 Because we are gay, and there is still so much controversy about that in our society. And so many gay people or couples feel like they have to keep their love quiet, these lyrics mean so much to me. There hasn't been a moment since I first considered being with Allyson, that I didn't want to tell everyone. That means something...she's it and no one can tell me otherwise. I want all the world to see we've met!

3. Venue

We spent months making a decision about where to have our wedding. We have friends and family all over the country. The first place we thought of was Orcas Island and we found Odd Fellows Hall online. We fell in love with the idea, but then ruled it out thinking it was too complicated for people to get there. We researched and visited at least 10 other places in the Bay Area, and nearly put money down on an amazing place: Marin Headlands Center for the Arts. Then we realized the venue itself would cost one-third of our budget and that just seemed insane! We are both so glad we came to our senses. For one-fifth the cost of the Center for the Arts, Odd Fellows could not have fit our personalities more. To get married outside, under beautiful madrona trees and looking out on the water, just worked for us. 

4. Our Parents' and Maid of Honor Speeches

We didn't have much control over this. And sadly, I think these were more emotional for our family and friends because we are gay. Our parents displayed so much support, love, and pride in their speeches. I think everyone cried. 

Photo Taken by Friend, Joann Chang

5. Friend as Officiant

 Allyson has known Nora since they were very young. They grew up together and now we are all friends, along with her lovely partner, Lynn. If we had hired someone we didn't know to officiate, I have to believe that the ceremony would not have been as special. Nora knows us and you could tell from every word she said that she believes in us, as individuals and as a couple. On top of that, she was a natural at speaking in front of people. Thanks Nora!

Runner Up: 6. Didn't Drink Too Much

This may seem like a silly thing for this list. We enjoyed every moment of this day. But we may not be able to remember every moment if we had drank too much. We had both talked about this ahead of time, but I honestly don't even know how we could've drank too much considering the amount of socializing before dinner and dancing after dinner we did. Nevertheless, lots of couples end up getting sloppy, and I'm so so so glad we didn't. I'm also grateful not to have been hungover - on top of the most exhausted I've ever felt - the morning after the wedding!

Top 5 Things We Wish We'd Done Differently

1. Thank You to Wedding Guests

            

First, we placed a framed "thank you" to our wedding guests by the guest book, but my guess is no one read it. We also said a thank you speech after our parents and maid of honor spoke. Well, we were so overcome by emotion from their speeches that we both feel we kind of dropped the ball on our speech. Our day-of coordinator convinced us that the thank you speech could take the place of walking around from table to table and talking with our guests. What a mistake! We are still regretting not being able to speak to everyone that came, and this would have been our opportunity to do that. Make sure you do this for your wedding! It's so important to feel like you connected with each person that traveled such a long way to be there for you. 

2. Group Photo

We ( I ) didn't do a good enough job telling our photographer some of the key pictures we wanted. We had pictures the perfect photo opportunity. All of our guests could have gotten on the patio at Odd Fellows Hall, along with us, and the photographer could have taken a terrific group shot from up on the balcony. This is worth taking the time to rally the troops. We so wish we had done this. 

Photo Credit: Jonathan Steinberg

3. Eat the Cheese!

Neither one of us had a single bite of the appetizers, and we have heard that the cheeses were out of this world. We also only had ONE bite (and was it even a bite if it mostly went up Allyson's nose?) of dessert. Take a few minutes to eat the cheese.

4. Don't Commit to Too Much 

We had some friends planning to go whale watching the following morning, and we thought that would be so fun and give us a chance to spend more time hanging out with people who had come for our wedding. We said it sounded fun but we'd let them know. So we didn't totally bail, but I still felt bad that we couldn't go. Bottom line....give yourself time to recuperate the next day. You'll need it. And some people (probably younger people and those that stay up past 10pm on a regular basis!) could handle an after-party after their wedding, but we were exhausted and wanting some time to ourselves. We hear others had a great time but I'm just saying...I felt bad that I'd suggested an after-party and then we couldn't even make it ourselves. 

5. Don't have a #5 - It really was an awesome day!

Top 5 Songs

This is hard and I'm trying to be objective. These are not necessarily my favorite songs of the evening. But these are the songs that got people on the dance floor. 

1. Love Shack - B52s

2. Thriller - Michael Jackson

3. Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen (This slightly embarrasses me, and we actually were out taking pictures during this song. However, we have pictures documenting the fun people had!)

4. Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye

5. It's a tie between 

              I'm Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO

              Any of the three Lady Gaga songs we played

              Call On Me - Eric Prydz (for a certain group of people)
              California Love - Tupac (for the California peeps)

I'm happy to share our whole list with anyone who is interested. Just send me a message at asutkowi@gmail.com

Continued Adventures on San Juan Island

After spending several days on Orcas Island, we took the ferry over to San Juan Island for our last 2 nights in the San Juan Islands. Last year, we discovered the Bird Rock Hotel in Friday Harbor, and we decided it was worth another stay. This place is precious. When you walk in the lobby to check in, there is always fresh lemonade and homemade cookies waiting for you. You have an option of rooms without bathrooms (so you share a bathroom with other guests) or rooms with bathrooms. To be honest, we have never had trouble using the bathroom when we wanted it and the rooms are much more affordable without the bathroom. All of the rooms are named after San Juan Islands, and we stayed in the Sucia room. Nice view and very cozy!

As soon as we checked in, we knew we wanted to find the best place on the island to watch the sunset, drink some wine, and have a picnic. We asked the very nice woman at the front desk, and she directed us to West Side Road. All along the southwest coast of the island are places you can turn out and sit by your car or walk down little trails to sit right on the cliffs covered in golden grasses. This was one of the highlights of the trip for me. We ended up stopping shortly before reaching Lime Kiln Point State Park. We saw whales in the distance, with the mist from their blowholes spouting up into the sunlight. We saw kayakers enjoying a sunset trip down below. And we enjoyed a glass of wine, cheese, crackers and veggies while soaking in the beauty around us. This is what life is all about!

The next day, we were silly enough to get a couple's massage before heading out on the hottest day of the year for a bike ride to Pelindaba Lavender Farm. In the morning, we got adequate massages at Earthbox Day Spa (note to self, next time schedule the massages for the late afternoon...after the adventures!) Although it was relaxing and a nice treat for both of us after a busy few months of wedding planning and graduate school, I wouldn't recommend Earthbox. If I were going to get a massage in Friday Harbor again, I'd ask around for recommendations. 

The bike ride was tough! We are both pretty active and one might think an island would be flat, but this ride was no joke! It was worth it though. We rented hybrid bikes from Island Bicycles right in Friday Harbor. They were really helpful and told us the best way to go. Although it was really hilly, being on bikes gave us a chance to really experience the farmland, valleys, and ocean views in the distance. 

Once at the lavender farm, we took a good hour or two just relaxing in the shade, walking through the lavender, and going through the shop. When we told the woman working there that we had used their lavender in our wedding, she gave us another bouquet (like we needed more!) for free. We took it out on the picnic table we were hanging out on and I played around taking pictures of our rings along with the lavender. After we had re-hydrated and had enough time to recuperate, we headed back out on our bikes a different way than we came. The whole loop ended up being around 13 miles, so it was totally reasonable for an afternoon ride. 

When we were out to dinner at Cask and Schooner (amazing fish and chips!) that night, we asked one of the servers about a good place for a trail run in the morning. He sent us to American Camp National Historic Site. Wow! Talk about views as far as you can see! It was a perfect last adventure on the islands. Allyson and I enjoyed running on the footpaths and fire roads, up hills and out to the edge of cliffs. We managed to run about 5 miles weaving up and down different trails. One loop to start with is Grandma's Cove to South Beach Trail and back to the start via the Redoubt Trail (2.5 miles). Great little loop and options to add on to it. 

We both felt some serious sadness about leaving the islands. I felt completely relaxed and so happy about how our wedding and the week after had gone. However, there is something truly special about the San Juan Islands and it was very difficult to leave. It isn't just that being on vacation is better than going back the real world. It's that Orcas Island (and I suppose the rest of the San Juan Islands) are the IDEAL real world for me. Or maybe part of my ideal world. We will definitely be making this place a regular spot to visit and I'm so glad we took a leap and made it our wedding location as well. See you soon San Juan Islands! 

Mini-Moon Adventures on Orcas Island

After a sweaty camping weekend (full of mosquitoes and lightning storms) in Carolina Beach, NC, I am going to enjoy taking myself back to our picture perfect mini-moon week on Orcas and San Juan Islands. We managed to pick the warmest, sunniest week of the year to have our wedding in the San Juan Islands. Every day was perfect and we did just the right amount of relaxing and adventure.

Hiking Mt. Constitution

While still on Orcas Island, we adventured both by land and by sea. After sleeping in and relaxing with our tea all morning at Blackberry Beach cabin, we drove ourselves up to Mountain Lake in Moran State Park. This is where we began our strenuous but incredible 6.7 mile loop hike to the top of Mt. Constitution (2, 398 feet), the highest point in the San Juan Islands. You can do the loop clockwise or counter-clockwise. We've done it both ways (not both on this trip of course!), and I recommend doing the loop counter-clockwise. It seems less steep going up, but not too steep coming down that it's challenging for fairly active people. Also, it's the elevation gain that classifies this hike as strenuous. The trails are well-marked, clear of obstacles, and enjoyable to walk on. There is a lot to see on this hike, not just the summit. From foxglove groves to black banana slugs to picture-worthy mushrooms to giant, moss-covered cedar and hemlock trees (not to mention the 360-degree views of the islands, Canada, and mainland Washington from the summit), the whole hike is a nature lover's delight.

There are lots of spots along the trail that would make for a perfect lunch spot. The downside to the summit is people can also drive up there, so it's fairly crowded. But on a Tuesday afternoon, it wasn't so crowded that we couldn't find a peaceful spot to enjoy lunch. We headed to the left of the main viewing area and found a nice rock to sit on and eat our packed lunch and enjoy the sunshine and the magnificent view.

The to continue the loop, you have to find the trail past the restrooms heading back down the mountain. You'll have great views of Mountain Lake and beyond, before heading into some beautiful groves which were so picturesque with the afternoon sunlight breaking through the trees.

It's nearly impossible to say no to a swim in Mountain Lake, after this very satisfying hike. Our swim in Mountain Lake was about the most refreshing swim I've had, and I've swam in a lot of lakes. It's cold, but not Lake Tahoe cold. There is a little trail off to the right of the parking lot to a kind of secluded spot. If you forgot your bathing suit, you're probably ok heading off in this direction for a quick dip. It was such a perfect ending to the hike!

For more details about the hike, both of these sites provide the directions you need. Also, the brochure provides other shorter hikes for those of you that don't want something so strenuous.

http://www.wta.org/go-hiking/hikes/mount-constitution

http://www.parks.wa.gov/publications/parks/Moran%20State%20Park%20Brochure.pdf

Kayaking Orcas

One of these days, I'm going to backtrack to last summer and share our kayaking adventure on this blog. During the planning of that trip, I'd repeatedly wished that someone else had shared their adventures on the internet to make our planning easier. However, for now I'll share our half-day kayak outing that started at the North Shore of Orcas Island at Outer Island Expeditions. I wasn't overly impressed by this outfitter, but they were fine for renting kayaks for a few hours. We put in the kayaks directly north of the Eastsound air strip, so while we were getting ready it was neat to have the small planes taking off or landing right over us.

We kayaked out and back along the north and west shore of Orcas for 4 hours or so. According to the outfitter, there are rough currents along the east side of the island. Considering we had a kid with us, we decided to stay in safer waters. We kept our eyes open for seals and bald eagles, knowing that they are all over the place in this area. Although we saw no bald eagles this time, we saw a ton of seals and their pups, both in the water and sunning on the rocks. Of course, my camera died right when we saw the seals. They would've looked pretty small in a photo anyway, because we didn't want to disrupt them by getting too close. But with the cliffs towering high above and the sun glistening off the water, these seals have quite a place to call home.

We ended up kayaking around Point Doughty - one of the beautiful spots we camped on our longer kayak adventure last year - and ate lunch on Freeman Island (a tiny island in the bay right by Pt. Doughty). Then, we continued kayaking down the west coast until we decided it was time to head back. There are some gorgeous homes and plenty of trees and wildlife along this part of the island. The picture below is from Pt. Doughty but from our longer kayaking adventure.